Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
