living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
