I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
