You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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