All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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