ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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