i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize