is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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