I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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