I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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