1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
