If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
