So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
