so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
