All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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