So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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