The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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