I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
