hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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