It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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