Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When are your genitals available?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
