we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
