For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My bed smells like the plague
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
