I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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