i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
