i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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