Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
