Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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