Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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