Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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