I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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