oh god the rape fog is back!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
