there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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