If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
