I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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