I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
