Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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