All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
