So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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