I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
