His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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