we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
