I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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