READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
