ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
