So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That accounts for only three of the penises
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
