i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
