you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize