ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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