Screwed.edu
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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