I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
