that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize