it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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