I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
