It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize