If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She said her name was "party"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
