pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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