Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
