I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
