i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
