In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
