You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
