Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
