so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
