She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
