butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize