did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just forgot I was standing up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
